Friday, 9 April 2010

Problem Solving (aka- HELP!!!)

Ok, parents of boys, this post is because I need your help.

Tommy is almost two (few more days) and becoming very "two" with each passing day. Most of it is easy to deal with- but there is this one thing...

Tommy has figured out how to pee on demand. That would be great if he didn't store it up to pee on himself/the wall/the carpet/the bathroom rug when I changed his diaper. He has done this multiple times in the past week. I know it is on purpose, because I can see the intense look of concentration on his face as he tenses his muscles to do it. Then there is the twinkle in his eye that follows success. Yep, it's on purpose. Today I started changing him on his table, and he began begging "toilet, toilet, toilet." So, I took him into the bathroom and gave him the choice of the big toilet or the little potty-training toilet. He chose the little one, sat down, stood up and then peed all over the rug. I asked him to stop, he did, and then he started again. GRRRRRRRR.

The supreme irritation in all this is that I'm not making any attempt to potty train him, because I don't feel like fighting that battle right now. I decided to wait so that he could chose it on his own. The only time I mention him going in the toilet is when I explain to him why he has to wear a diaper (he increasingly is unhappy with having to wear one).

Has your boy done this? What did you do?


Anonymous said...

my mom put cheerios in the toilet so he could pee on something fun, although i remember bailey being a lot easier to potty train than brandon. he just didn't want to do it and when he had underwear on he would hold it all day until my mom put a diaper on him. then once he got older and could fully understand the concept my mom told him he could have a bike once he was fully potty trained. i know bribery isn't exactly the best way to go but it worked for brandon because he definitely wanted the bike.

Heather said...

Amy, I waited on the boys too and they were both older when they showed interest, but it sounds like Tommy may aready be ready (he has some bladder control, he is not happy about diapers, and he can communicate).

Do you let him stand up to pee at the big toilet? Maybe he prefers that to sitting. I think most parents of boys start with sitting and move to standing, but in your story it sounds like he might be happier standing? Or maybe it was just in that instance.

I was also going to mention the Cherrio idea, although I never tried it myself. Something to make going in the toilet desirable while letting Tommy know that it is NOT OK to pee all over everything else.

I dreaded potty training too, since I had heard horror stories, but it turned out to be pretty easy for us. If someone was interested, we went with it, so we had a couple "false starts" but no pressure.

It is funny to read this post today. Natalie woke up with a dry diaper so I set her on the toilet and she went! It was her first time.

BTW, our boys were just over 3 and about 2 3/4 when they PT'ed.

Jenn said...

I feel your pain! I just got done potty training my son. He has an iron will, and it's his way or no way. I agree that it sounds like he might be easier to work with standing up. And WalMart has this... It is a little spendy, but two of my best friends said it has been their NEWEST best friend!! Good Luck!

Colleen said...

I am the mother of 4 boys, now all teenagers. I just started laughing and had to read your post to my husband last night. My boys were all 3 years old when we potty trained them. I also made them all sit, and still do...most of the time. I hate a pee smelling bathroom. I don't really have any answers for you, except if he really does understand what he is doing, then maybe time out or a punishment for peeing on the rugs, etc., and a reward for peeing in the toilet. But thank you for the good laugh.

sara said...

We should talk!! We just went through this...O loves to play outside in the water so often times he goes without clothes around the house...well everytime (EVERYTIME) we would put him in timeout for various things, he would be on the floor. So we just potty trained him and he is doing fabulous! We did the it on google I can't remember if it is .com or what. I was really skeptical at first but it uses love, positive reinforcement and focus. (it is all you do for 3 days:) but I highly recommend it. I can't tell you how fast we had success. It sounds as if he is totally ready but you know him best. We should talk though:)

Cuppa Jo said...

My tips:

1. Targets
2. No punishment or condemnation. You will only prolong potty training if you do so at this young an age.
3. Reward/sticker chart for peeing in the right place - the toilet.

All positives right now.

We had a HELL of a time pt'ing Z and I made so many mistakes. As irritating as it is, you need to try to keep it as low key as possible or risk regression.

That's my two

thecurryseven said...

Ugh! This is my absolutely least favorite parenting chore. I tend to wait until I can explain what's expected, offer an appropriate bribe, and have done with it. But then, none of mine have exhibited quite the, um, control of the situation that Tommy has.

I would say go ahead and potty train him. I think Cuppa Jo's tips are spot on. I'm all for heavy bribery when it comes to pee!


Nancy said...

Ahhhh Amy! I remember those days! And now that the boys have their own bathroom (and have to clean it!!), it still smells. I hate that. But nobody else uses it be it. T&T were almost 31/2 and were starting preschool when they were potty trained. They were ready before that but I wasn't willing to fight the battle but the preschool said they had to be potty trained to go and they desperately wanted to go! So the first day they wore a diaper but not after that! It sure sounds like Tommy is READY but you're going to have to figure out what his motivation will be (what does he want/like more than anything else in the world??). Just be consistent. You have all this advice from everyone but go with your mother's heart. What does it tell you? Prayers and hugs! Nancy

Kathryn said...

haha, oh tommy....

Well, we didn't really have any trouble with Deken, but we started right away when we were still in Uganda. We were fortunate though that the kids at Sanyu start sitting on potty's, 3 times a day, as soon as they can walk. So he had already had alot of time on the potty.

It was now a matter of trying to explain to a 20 month old that he has to potty here, all the other times of the day too, and not in his underwear. We stuck with sitting down while still in Uganda, but as soon as we were home and had a step stool for him, we taught him to stand up. We didn't have to bribe him with anything, he just thought it was really fun that he could lift up the seat, pull his own pants down, and pee into the toliet. Then he taught him to flush it, pull up his pants and go to the sink. After a couple weeks we taught him how to turn the water on by himself, pump his own soap and make bubbles in the sink. That seemed to be reward enough for him.

We also bought him a bunch of fun buzz lightyear and lightning mcqueen underwear. If he did have accidents (which sound similar to what Tommy's are. He had the control, and would hold it forever, but he would be too distracted having fun doing something else, that he wouldn't go to the potty) we punished him.. if he has an accident, his pants and underwear came off and he goes right to time out. After I give him a firm explanation of what he did wrong, I make him take new pants and underwear and go use the potty and do the whole routine.

Then whatever 'So-Exciting' activity he was doing that caused him to not want to leave it to go potty, is done with. After he finishes in the bathroom, I take him to whatever he was doing (TV, playing with a toy, legos, painting) and point to it saying that he's all done because he didn't go potty on the toilet. And then I move him on to something else, that usually doesn't make him very happy, but he got the picture.

Now at 28 months, he's completely potty-trained. Last month I started keeping him in underwear when we went out, and at nap time. And he's done fine. He only wears a pull-up at night for bed (and I highly recommend the walgreens brand pull-ups. They're cheaper and are much more fitted than all the others.

Sorry, I probably wasn't much help. I think we really just got lucky with Sanyu starting right from the beginning. I'm def. going to do that with the rest of my kids to come..