Tuesday, 23 August 2011


Three is quite an age. I could seriously do without the tantrums that come out of no where, the stubbornness, and the intentional disobedience (and the many many timeouts that accompany it). I will be happy when my children's brains start functioning properly, which I think happens when they turn twenty-five. That said, it is also so much fun to be able to finally communicate really well, to watch Tommy learn so many things every day, and to listen to the crazy things he comes up with.

J: Tommy, you're rad.
T: No Daddy! I'm not red, I'm brown. (pause) I'm chocolate!

T: Mum, I have a new name: Mister Corn.
(Next day). Mum's name is Mister Lady Corn, and I'm Mister Corn.

After hearing us call Nicolas a "Strawberry Piggy," because that child can eat his weight in strawberries, Tommy began creating similar labels for himself, including:
"Strawberry Walrus," "Cherrio Dolphin," and "Pizza Tiger."

A phone book was tossed on our doorstep, and Tommy declared it a "package in the mail" and opened it. He announced that he had received "The Storybook of God." He then proceeded to "read" me the highly blasphemous tales found in said story book (we might start calling it the second gospel of Thomas).

The first story was "Jesus yelled at the people, 'Don't take my pizza!'" Every story after that was about Jesus getting trouble for splashing people in the eyes, pouring water out of his bath, and other things that Tommy has actually been punished for this week. Of course I repeatedly explained that Jesus never did bad things, something that we have discussed before, but this truth has yet to be reflected in the stories Tommy reads from the phone book. This leads me to wonder, Susan De La Paz, what on earth are you teaching my child in Sunday School?

Tommy's love for Robin Hood (with the Foxes, not Kevin Costner), has led to a number of hilarious out of context or misinterpreted moments. I will limit myself to my favorite:

He got very mad at Nicolas one day and yelled, "I sentence you to sudden, instant, and even immediate DESK!"

(for those not familiar with the movie, this is an imitation of Prince John using the line to sentence Robin Hood to death, a word that we have yet to explain). Tommy heard me repeat the story to a friend, and realized from what I was saying that he got the line wrong. Now he sentence Nicolas to "immediate DECK."

Tommy has started soccer lessons or whatever you call it. I just signed him up in the hopes that they would make him run laps for an hour while kicking a soccer ball because he has more energy than can be easily expended in our small apartment and yard. Soccer was the only sport open for kids his age. He hasn't exactly taken to it, mostly because he wants to hold the ball. At the second lesson, which was held on a basketball court in a gym due to rain, the coach announced they would be having a soccer game/ Tommy responded by asking if he could just shoot some baskets. The next session they were back at the park, and Tommy spied some kids playing football, and pointed at them and announced very loudly that he would rather play "that game." I am thankful that camp is almost over.


Heather said...

What a character!

Sweet Apron said...

The Storybook of God!!
Oh, Tommy.:)