Interested in Vampire Fiction?

I am not a priori against Christian fantasy or even non-Christian series that delve into demons, monsters, magic, and so forth. I grew up reading C.S. Lewis, enjoyed Harry Potter, and I absolutely believe that an author can deal with biblical themes and magical characters. That said, really? Christian vampire fiction? The whole thing feels a bit to trendy for me, like someone thought, "Hey, vampires are so popular right now, we should write about some of them getting saved." Enter Tracey Batemen and the novel Tandem (which is actually the second in a series about a local that seems to have more than its fair share of paranormal activity - and yes, it hat tips "Buffy" when this is brought up.

I did not read the first book in the series, but catching up with the characters was easy enough. Batemen's plot and character development were fine, if a bit transparent - for this type of fiction that isn't unexpected. The story follows Lauryn, an auctioneer who is wrestling with growing up without a mom, the impending death of her father due to Alzheimer's, her struggle to care for him and develop a life of her own, the sudden return of her high school crush, and a mystery surrounding the estate she is currently cataloging - that of a man who was killed after a bizarre series of animal sacrifices and murders in their town (covered in the first book). The town is thrown into turmoil when animals, and then people, begin to die again. The big plot twist is, of course, that vampires have been doing the killing. I would hate to give it all away, but suffice to say there are both vampire characters that have some remorse for their proclivities and feast only on animals and those that do not. And yes, a vampire gets saved at the end. Whether or not you like this book will probably depend on how interesting you find vampire novels, and whether or not you are looking for one that is generally "clean," although not by any means spiritually deep.

I know you are wondering, Amy, why on earth did you pick such a book? The description made it sound like an interesting mystery (I love mysteries), and conveniently left out the "v" word. Never would have picked it had I known.

*I received a free copy of this book for review*

Finally, a Keeper

I'm not going to lie: I anxiously awaited the arrival of this book, and when it came, I immediately tore open the package and sat down (next to the door) and read it to Tommy.

Why? It's by Lisa Bergren and Laura Bryant, the author/illustrator combo of one of our favorite adoption books, When God Found Us You. (I will have to do a post on those soon, but minus a word or two that are not the most adoption friendly, When God Found Us You is great - and Tommy loves it).

When I saw God Gave Us the World as a review selection, I picked it without even glancing at my other options. The story is presented as a conversation between Mama Bear and Little Cub, as they talk about how God was creative when he made the world. Mama Bear first brings up this diversity in reference to different types of snow, and then she shares that God also made bears of various kinds. Mama and Little Cub then proceed to a "bear exhibit" (which is supposed to be a full sized diorama, I believe, but also looks something like a zoo - and bears visiting a zoo to view other bears is just weird). At the exhibit they see black bears, panda bears, sloth bears, and grizzly bears. Mama points out differences in the types of bears to Little Cub: "different fur and different families" for black bears; living in China and eating trees for Pandas; living in India, hanging from trees, and eating termites for Sloth bears, and living in America and eating fish for Grizzlies. Little Cub questions why some of the bears eat strange things and live in other places, and Mama explains that not all bears have the same tastes or homes, but they are all bears and all made by God, and that these differences demonstrate God's creativity and immense capabilities. At this point I very much wish that they would have mentioned the various colors of bear fur, and how all bears may not look the same but they were all made by God - a missed opportunity in my opinion.

The book then transitions into a bit of instruction on creation care, as Mama Bear explains that God is a creator by nature, and that the world he made is old and strong, but in other ways fragile and in need of care. This part feels a bit heavy handed, but it's a good message for children to think about, and children's books aren't exactly known for their subtlety and finesse.

The book concludes with Little Cub wondering about the possibility of befriending other bears and being thankful that God made her to be part of his big world. The illustrations throughout are cute and colorful, and fit the storyline well.

The real test, of course, is the "again" test. This book passed that with flying colors. We had to read it twice in the first sitting, and Tommy chose it again (out of all his books) at naptime. This meant that I did not have to read Curious George Flies A Kite (for the ten thousandth time) - which earns this book two thumbs up from a mom who was very much in need of some new children's reading material.

*I recieved a free copy of this book for review*

The Next Christians

Disclaimer: *I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a review*

In The Next Christians: How a New Generation is Restoring the Faith Gabe Lyons desires to show how the next generation of Christians are engaging with culture in a new way- and in doing so providing hope for the future influence of Christianity in America.

His premise rests on a few assumptions- one, that Christianity is dying in America, two, that the "old way" of "being Christian" has failed, and three, that there is one particular way of practicing of Christianity that is vitalized and pushing the faith forward, offering hope (and a model to follow) for believers. While I don’t entirely disagree with many of Lyon’s assessments, I found them to be too simplistic, particularly the negative stereotypes of "old" Christians that he sets up to argue against. In the Second Chapter, "A Parody of Ourselves" Lyons shares that he is employed as a consultant for people who wish to understand major trends in Christianity. As part of his work in this field he has categorized different "types" of Christians- complete with diagrams and synopsis of each. Interestingly, since he includes the word "parody" in his chapter heading, each of his descriptions reads like a parody, they feel mocking and lack grace, are sometimes belittling, and lean heavily on the faults of each group. Although I can think of people I know that probably represent each "type" none of them fully fit the negative assumptions listed, and most have much more depth then the simple typology allows for. I understand that Lyons did this make his argument seem more important and novel, but the tone is too negative for a man who desires (and I believe him) to prompt people to work together to become restorers. For someone so focused on "restoration" the first third of the books feels too heavy on classification and division.

The tone of the book shifts a bit with the second division in the book, as Lyons moves on to his thesis about what the next Christians are (these descriptions double as chapter titles): Provoked, not Offended; Creators, not Critics; Called, not Employed; Grounded, not Distracted; in Community, not Alone; and Counter-cultural, not Relevant. Again, the comparative design of his explanation- that next Christian’s actions can only be understood in contrast to the negative patterns of other Christians- detracts from the positive aspects of Lyons’ message. I think his argument would have been stronger if he focused the discussion on what the next Christians are, instead of emphasizing what they are not, which he does better in some chapters than in others. For example, in "Grounded, not Distracted" Lyons sets up his chapter by describing a "next Christian" who loses his way but then returns to his vision to serve God. Because Lyons keeps his argument within the context of who the next Christians are and how they can stay grounded within their callings instead of comparing them to other types of Christians, this chapter has a more encouraging and instructive tone. It would have been nice had the entire book been written that way, because Lyons has a few interesting points to make and some encouraging stories to tell.

Love At Last Sight

So, if you know me you know I love to read. LOVE. It's my hobby. I came across a program called "Blogging for Books" (link if you want to sign up too) where you can request free copies of books in exchange for posting an honest review on your blog when you finish reading them. Now, I know everyone comes to this blog for cute pictures of Tommy and not boring reviews of books, so, if you sit through this one I have an incentive for you. I'm done with the book I reviewed. If you read the review and the book sounds like something that might interest you send me an email (address is on the side bar). If more than one person emails (doubtful, I know), I will randomly select a winner and mail you the book. And the best part is you won't owe me a review or anything else.

So, here it is, my review of Love at Last Sight (Kerry and Chris Shook):

I admit, I picked up this book believing it was an "improve your marriage" type book, a genre I rarely read these days. Once I picked this book up, I found out that it is not specifically designed for marriages, and was written to support any close relationship. I like that. Although marriages are our most important relationships, they aren't the only relationships that frequently change and require tune-ups, and this book aims to help you improve any close relationship that might be faltering, in fact the authors ask you to pick three to focus on as you read, whether it is a relationship with a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or friend.

The main premise of this book is that we tend to have a backwards view of relationships, a "love at first sight" focus on immediate chemistry and getting along which lead us to discard relationships when they get difficult or messy. The authors hope to develop a "love at last sight" mentality, in which you intentionally invest in relationships so that you can say that the last time you saw someone was the time you loved them most. The book is meant to be read in a one month period, reading one chapter each day and completing its accompanying "challenge" section. Topics include: being fully attentive, going beyond surface issues, risking awkwardness, and letting go, among others. The main point of each chapter was well-explained with pertinent examples and challenges.

Since I tend to agree with the basic point of the book- that love is a commitment that requires action and not just a set of exciting emotions- I was probably bound to agree with many of the points made by the authors. The content of the book is solid, biblically based, and helpful. There were a few instances when I thought the authors made a good point, but really stretched the context of the biblical passage that they used to support it, but that's common enough in Christian books and this book is far from the worse offender. The authors also repeat the term "love at last sight" far too often. Since they are arguing that "love at last sight" is real love, it would have been better had they transitioned to simply using the term love, using other terms to distinguish love from infatuation, or insincere commitments. One additional criticism- the book is coauthored by a husband and wife team, but they chose to speak in one voice rather than two. While I agree that books that repeatedly switch back and forth between authors, using parenthesis or "I, so and so" can be distracting, it isn't really less distracting to have two distinct yet intermingled voices. That said, if you are looking for a book about creating and sustaining relationships this book has a lot to offer.

Ok, you made it all the way through - send me that email!

Also, in case you wondered, my very very favorite book on Marriage is Allender/Longman's Intimate Allies.

Intimate Allies

I have tried to post some of the resources that we have found helpful while dealing with our loss. The book Intimate Allies has been a wonderful tool for us, even though this book has absolutely nothing to do with grief. But it does deal with something that grief greatly affects: marriage.

Losing a child impacts a marriage. The stress of grief and the pain of coping with loss can push people in different directions. Navigating grief together can be difficult. Some days one person feels bad and the other person doesn't. That feeling of disconnect is very isolating. Jeff and I received some very sound advice early on in this journey, when a friend shared with me that in her experience parents often go through grief differently, and that we needed to be prepared to give each other space and to be understanding.

I picked up Intimate Allies because "working on your marriage" is one of the things suggested during adoption education. I figured it couldn't hurt, and I had read some of Allender and Longman's work in the past, and really enjoyed their perspective. I read the book, as I am the reader in our marriage, and shared some of the principles with Jeff, then we began doing the questions together. For the most part the questions have sparked great conversation and lead us to really open up with each other.

What I really appreciate about this book is that it isn't just about getting along with your spouse, it is about joining with your spouse (as "intimate allies") to discover who you are, stand firm against chaos, help each other grow, become one, and fight against sin. This book reminded me of what I vowed to Jeff on our wedding day, and it was so much more than that we would "just" get along.

I pledged: "To love and support from you this day forward for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. I will strive to consider your needs and best interest in all that we do. I will be faithful to you. I will support you in your endeavors, and I will pray for God's will to be done in our lives."

How can Jeff and I fulfill this pledge that we made if we do not actively work to seek the best from each other? This book has really recalibrated my focus. Although our life together has never been harder than it has been in this past year, this hardship has brought us even closer together. I have never been more secure in my marriage than I am now, and that is saying a lot because our marriage has never been hard. This book is a great one for all married couples- whether you are grieving or not. However, for those of us who have the burden of grief weighing on our marriages, having a resource like this is especially helpful.

The One Year Book of Hope

A few months ago I wrote a post about a book that Jeff and I found very helpful, Holding on to Hope. The woman who wrote that book also has written a devotional entitled The One Year Book of Hope. We received this book at Christmas, and it has been a blessing to us.

This book is organized weekly by a theme, with daily devotions for five days of the week, plus a meditation and prayer section for a sixth day. The devotions begin with a Bible passage, have a few paragraphs of thoughts on a particular topic, and then have a Bible passage or two to look up along with a question or two to answer. Some examples of themes covered include: "Brokenhearted," "Jesus, Man of Sorrows," "Sufferers," "Why?," "The Mysteries of Heaven," and many others related to the pain of grieving. This devotional is aimed at those who are grieving or suffering, but I believe it is a good devotional that anyone could benefit from regardless of their circumstances.

Jeff and I have been reading the devotion and Bible passage together each day, and we have really enjoyed this time together to reflect on our loss and on the hope that God has given us. The devotions provide needed encouragement and perspective on our situation. This, and Holding on to Hope have been among the best resources we have had during this time.

A few passages that have helped me:

"Is it realistic to think that you and I can worship God, not after we've figured it all out, but as our initial reaction to loss in our lives? Job shows us it is. Worshiping God does not require that we understand or approve of what God has allowed into our lives; it simply requires a heart that desires to trust God and a will that is bent toward obedience to God regardless of our feelings. We worship God because He is worthy, not because we necessarily feel like it. And as we worship in the midst of our pain, we are able to gain perspective on that pain. This is a costly worship- which makes it all the more worthwhile and precious to God."

"Jesus calls us to abandon our own agendas, what we have deemed will please and fulfill us, so that we can embrace the kind and quality of life that only He gives. This is not about adding Jesus to the life we are living. This is about making Jesus our life. This is about putting our plans for our lives to death so that the abundant life He offers has room to take root and grow. And death is always painful. This is not an extreme brand of discipleship only for go-getters. This is a call for everyone who chooses to be a follower of Jesus."

Holding on to Hope

A few days after Leah's birth, a friend from church handed me a copy of Holding on to Hope: A Pathway through Suffering to the Heart of God. It is an amazing book, and has been a tremendous help to both Jeff and me as we proceed on this journey.

The book follows Job's story of loss and grief, and the story of the author, Nancy Guthrie. Nancy and her husband lost a little girl, Hope, to a metabolic disorder called Zellweger Syndrome. Her daughter was diagnosed shortly after birth and died seven months later. Upon learning that the disorder was recessive and had a 25% recurrence rate, She and her husband decided not to have any more children. Then they found out that despite their efforts they were pregnant, and that this child also had Zellweger Syndrome. He lived for six months.

Guthrie writes movingly about her experiences relating to the loss of her two children. Her honesty in addressing her sadness, her struggles, and her submission to God inspired me and helped me see hope for our situation.

Guthrie addresses her book to anyone dealing with loss, and her focus on Job, who lost not only his children, but also everything he owned and his physical health, further broadens the books’ appeal.

I am including some quotes that helped me below.

"Our culture wants to put the Band-Aid of heaven on the hurt of losing someone we love. Sometimes it seems like the people around us think that because we know the one we love is in heaven, we shouldn't be sad. But they don't understand how far away heaven feels, and how long the future seems as we see before us the years we have to spend on this earth before we see the one we love again."

"...We worship because God is worthy, not necessarily because we 'feel' like it. In the midst of a crisis, if we only do what we feel like doing, we could remain stuck in a cycle of self-pity. But when we worship, we get our eyes off of ourselves and our sorrow or problems. We focus them on God, and this puts our difficulties into proper perspective."

"But as we voiced our deepest feelings and fears out loud, we realized that we had to let go of those things too. We needed to trust God with everything we had, to open ourselves and say, God, it is all yours to do with as you will!
Some days I wonder if the letting go is ever going to stop."

"Trusting God when the miracle does not come, when the urgent prayer gets no answer, when there is only darkness- this is the kind of faith God values perhaps most of all. This is the kind of faith that can be developed and displayed only in the midst of difficult circumstances. This is the kind of faith that cannot be shaken because it is the result of having been shaken."

"I have come to the place where I believe a yearning for heaven is one of the purposes and one of the privileges of suffering and of losing someone you love. I never had that yearning before, but I do now. You see, a piece of me is there."

"In his response, God did not explain suffering or how to avoid suffering. Suffering is a mystery...and Job came to respect the mystery. Job came to understand that because he knew who God is, he can accept what God gives- even when he didn’t understand it."

A Grief Observed

I picked this book up at my church library on Sunday, and read the whole thing Sunday night after small group. That is not nearly as impressive as it sounds, since this book is only 60 pages long. In those short pages C.S. Lewis documents his reaction to the death of his wife. It does not comprise a coherent theology relating to grief, but rather the ramblings of a man whose heart remains in shambles. I loved it. Although I did not relate to all of his struggles, I found that his musings on the process of grief reflected so well many of my feelings. As he recounts the stages he passed through, I found myself nodding in agreement. I know those aches. Below I am including a few of Lewis' thoughts that resonated with the pain in my heart.

"Part of misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief."

"If a mother is mourning not for what she has lost but for what her dead child has lost, it is a comfort to believe that the child has not lost the end for which it was created. And it is a comfort to believe that she herself, in losing her chief or only natural happiness, has not lost a greater thing, that she may still hope to 'glorify God and enjoy him forever'. A comfort to the God-aimed, eternal spirit within her. But not to her motherhood. The specifically maternal happiness must be written off. Never, in any place or time, will she have her son on her knees, or bath him, or tell him a story, or plan for his future, or see her grandchild."

"What do people mean when they say 'I am not afraid of God because I know He is good?' Have they never even been to a dentist?"

"Tonight all the hells of young grief have opened again; the mad words, the bitter resentment, the fluttering in the stomach, the nightmare unreality, the wallow-ed in tears. For in grief nothing 'stays put'. One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?

But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?

How often- will it be for always?-how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, 'I never realized my loss till this moment'? The same leg is cut off time after time. The first plunge of the knife into the flesh is felt again and again."