Monday, 26 October 2009

(I've Got) Pees Like a River

Boy like a fountain...

Tommy peed on my head today. Not really his fault. Not really my fault. Just a series of ordinary events that led to the blessed baptism.

The story starts out well. This morning Tommy signaled to me that he wanted to get on the toilet to go to the bathroom. I was, of course, ecstatic. This wasn't the first time that he had done this, but it has been weeks since the last time, and I have been trying not to push it even though I really really want to. So, up on the toilet he went. He produced his potty, got a standing ovation from mum, got his diaper back on, and went on his merry way.

Later in the afternoon while we were playing Tommy got a peculiar look on his face, scrunched up his toes and began stamping his leg. Ahhhhh....number two. The excitement of the earlier potty triumph overcame me, and I foolishly decided to see if he could get the last of his poop in the toilet too. I figure the option of not sitting in his own poop would be really motivating in the future. So I whisk him to the bathroom, yank off the sweats, pull down his cover, fumble with his snappi, and get him situated on his special potty seat. By the time I accomplished all of this he had finished his main business. But since he was on the seat anyway, I thought, why not let him sit a minute? See if anything else comes out.

So he sits, he grunts, he grabs the seat handles and slides forward. I take this as a sign that he may be have some success, and bend down for 10 seconds to take care of the diaper on the floor.

Suddenly something warm and wet hits my forehead. I glance up and notice a golden arch streaming over my head and onto the just-cleaned-that-morning bathroom floor. It actually took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on. Tommy was peeing all over me and the whole bathroom. His potty seat has a shield meant to direct the potty down into the toilet and prevent it from spurting out the crack between the toilet seat and the bowl. However, if your child scoots forward a bit, it might actually direct the flow in the incorrect direction, causing your child to create a fountain of urine to add ambiance to your bathroom (yay! we finally have a "water feature").

Poor Tommy. He was so confused. He thought he was doing something really good. But I am pretty sure the look on my face was a bit, well, unhappy, with a hint of disgusted. He still got his standing ovation. But I couldn't jump up and down this time, for fear of slipping.

5 comments:

Heather said...

Hahaha! Amy, you are great writer, and I love your stories of being a mum.

Gretchen said...

Fabulous Amy, truly momentous. ;0) Having a boy means getting peed on every once in a while!

mary said...

Welcome to the club of Mother's of boys. Nicely put too.

lauragifford said...

I love it! (The "boy like a fountain" title is priceless.) I've even been peed on a time or two by my daughter... once they start potty training, all bets are off. How wonderful that he is interested so early!

Sheila said...

You are officially a mom of a boy now! With three I've done that and my personal favorite was when my son bent down to watch himself go #2 and actually peed on his own face....it's always a trip with boys :)