If you give a boy a popsicle

he's going to want to eat it outside on the porch.

While sitting outside, he'll notice the neighbors are having a party.

He'll need to check it out. So he'll get up and begin walking around the cul-de-sac.

Then he'll decide that his walk is so entertaining that he'll keep going.

As he continues his walk, he'll notice one of the neighbor's has something strange-looking on their driveway, something that must be figured out.

So he'll walk across it. He'll bend down and touch it. He'll even sit in it.

Then he'll call for his brother and encourage him to do the same.

When neither of them can figure out what exactly all the sticky black stuff is, they'll decide to get a second opinion.

So they'll come home and ring the doorbell.

Them they'll notice that their hands leave little black marks everywhere, so they'll want to be cleaned up.

While you frantically Google "how to remove asphalt from skin" they'll delight in their exciting discovery and touch some more things. So you'll send them into the back.

You'll rub them down with olive oil to no avail, and realize the only recourse is gasoline.

When they finally finish their treatment they will stink like an old garage and ask to be hosed off.

After you hose them off they'll be cold and want to take a bath.

But taking a bath and getting ready for bed in the brutal heat will make them hot again, so they'll ask for a Popsicle to cool off.

And chances are, if they ask for a Popsicle, they will want to go eat it on the front porch.