On Monday evening I flipped to the next chapter in our devotional, and saw the theme for this week: hope. It couldn't have come at a better time, as when I flipped open the devotional I was feeling pretty hopeless.
Don't get me wrong, I have hope in the broadest sense of the word- hope in the resurrection, hope that God's sovereignty will ultimately prevail, hope for the restoration of this earth, and hope that God will use our sufferings for His purpose. However, when it felt like when it came to my life, I only had resignation. We are dealing with a great deal of uncertainty, some from the adoption, but also from our work and living situations (which, of course, affect the adoption), and every time it seems like we might get some resolution, something completely out of our control goes wrong. Last week a few big problems cropped up, and by the end of last week Jeff and I were both emotionally spent.
When I flipped open the devotion to this week's readings, I was overwhelmed by God's timing. The first day He hit us with Romans 5, which is one of those scriptures I memorized years ago that has both helped and frustrated me through this experience.
The next day our verses were Romans 8:23-25:
And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies He has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)
This passage spoke to me. It assured me that I really do have hope. To question whether or not life will turn out the way I want it is not a lack of hope. Real hope has nothing to do with me receiving the things I desire. Real hope is that God will do what He has promised. Absolutely nothing has happened to us that warrants doubting that.
Suffering can be very difficult to do in a Christian community. People seem to see sorrow, or the acceptance that your physical or emotional suffering may continue, as signs that you have no faith. I have lots of faith, I just also happen to accept that my perfect version of reality may not be what God has in store for me. The "American Dream" is not one of God's promises. He doesn't promise me good health, long life, a house, two cars, 2.3 kids, nice clothes, or a flat screen TV. If I don't get any of those things, I can't shake my fist at God. If I do get them, I will count them as blessings.
Thank goodness God interrupts our version of reality with His version of reality: scripture. Sometimes my view gets so distorted that I begin to accept a lie. Hope is not believing that God will make you happy by giving you everything you want, hope is knowing that God has a plan, and it is a good one.
Don't get me wrong, I have hope in the broadest sense of the word- hope in the resurrection, hope that God's sovereignty will ultimately prevail, hope for the restoration of this earth, and hope that God will use our sufferings for His purpose. However, when it felt like when it came to my life, I only had resignation. We are dealing with a great deal of uncertainty, some from the adoption, but also from our work and living situations (which, of course, affect the adoption), and every time it seems like we might get some resolution, something completely out of our control goes wrong. Last week a few big problems cropped up, and by the end of last week Jeff and I were both emotionally spent.
When I flipped open the devotion to this week's readings, I was overwhelmed by God's timing. The first day He hit us with Romans 5, which is one of those scriptures I memorized years ago that has both helped and frustrated me through this experience.
The next day our verses were Romans 8:23-25:
And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies He has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)
This passage spoke to me. It assured me that I really do have hope. To question whether or not life will turn out the way I want it is not a lack of hope. Real hope has nothing to do with me receiving the things I desire. Real hope is that God will do what He has promised. Absolutely nothing has happened to us that warrants doubting that.
Suffering can be very difficult to do in a Christian community. People seem to see sorrow, or the acceptance that your physical or emotional suffering may continue, as signs that you have no faith. I have lots of faith, I just also happen to accept that my perfect version of reality may not be what God has in store for me. The "American Dream" is not one of God's promises. He doesn't promise me good health, long life, a house, two cars, 2.3 kids, nice clothes, or a flat screen TV. If I don't get any of those things, I can't shake my fist at God. If I do get them, I will count them as blessings.
Thank goodness God interrupts our version of reality with His version of reality: scripture. Sometimes my view gets so distorted that I begin to accept a lie. Hope is not believing that God will make you happy by giving you everything you want, hope is knowing that God has a plan, and it is a good one.
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2 comments:
Thank you for these thoughts Amy.
Yes, I agree with Gretchen. Thanks for sharing your grieving process with us. It really helps to understand what the daily struggles really are. I also appreciate how you share what's helping you. Thanks so much!
Aunt Robin
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