Swim Lessons

(I wrote this at the beginning of last week, so this is the "before" post...thankfully things got better)

I'm generally not into forcing my children into extra-curricular activities, but I am a firm believer that swimming is an indispensable life skill. Thus all of my children will be required to take swim lessons until they are very strong swimmers. I don't care if they don't enjoy it - it's necessary.

Tommy is a fan of recreational water play, but not a fan of swim lessons. According to him (parents are only allowed to observe from a distance), he spent the entirety of his first lesson asking for me and crying. The masses of snot and rivers of tears streaming down his face when he exited the pool suggest that he was indeed unhappy. Poor kid - he hated it. But he still had to go back the next day.

I spent the rest of the first day talking up swim lessons, and on day two he went into the pool reluctantly, but he went in. Day three went a little bit better. He still doesn't want to go, but he is getting in the water and participating in the class activities. He has become a very enthusiastic kicker, although he likes to do his kicking with as much of his torso on the pool deck as possible.

Nic is still too young for lessons, so of course he is dying to go in the pool and participate. Hopefully his enthusiasm will last!

Update on Mary: Break Week

This is mom's break week from chemo and she is enjoying the time off. A week without blood draws and iv lines is a good thing. She is feeling well most days, but has been in a little more pain lately, which is a bit discouraging.

Please pray for:

A high white count next week so she can start another round of chemo

Decreased pain/soreness

The tumor to SHRINK!

Another one of Tommy's masterpieces:

He found his thumb...

Cabrillo Marine Aquarium

Tommy has been begging to go to a museum lately, so once mom started feeling better we decided to join forces with Aunt Annie and my cousin Molly and head to Cabrillo. We had a lovely picnic on the lawn, went through the aquarium, and played on the playground on the beach nearby. It was tiring, but lots of fun (probably less fun for Molly who did a lot of chasing). Things have certainly improved at Cabrillo since the last time I visited many many years ago. We were all very impressed by the upgrades. The touch tank is very nice and has some very pretty sea stars and the area behind it, which was not for touching, had sharks that Tommy really liked. Nic liked the hands-on exhibits and the ring-shaped fish tank that he could crawl under. Some pics from our afternoon adventure:

My little grunions

At the touch tank...

Molly and Tommy hatching grunions

Playing on the slide

USS Iowa - it's one BIG ship

A Moment of Quiet

Yesterday Nic and I had a rare quiet moment together. He has been getting a little lost in the shuffle lately since Kenny requires so much time and Tommy demands it. We played a tickle game then cuddled and played "baby." I wrapped him up in a receiving blanket, rocked him, and sang him some of his nighttime songs, most of which are songs that my Dad sang to me when I was little.

I began to sing "In His Time" (In His time/in His time/He makes all things beautiful in His time/Lord please show me everyday/as you're teaching me your way/That you do just what you say in your time...Lord my life to you I bring/May each song I have to sing/be to you a lovely thing in your time), and quickly choked up as I thought of all the things that God has been doing in our lives over the past four years. This time of year I always get a little teary. I miss my girl.

Four years ago we met our daughter and said goodbye far too quickly. In moments like those it's hard to believe that life will go on, that you can press forward, that you will survive. Yet here we sit, four years later, with lives bursting at the seams with joy. Our boys are walking bundles of vibrant, exuberant life.

We sat with sorrow, but in His time, God used our brokenness and created a new family, and then did it again, and again. Four years ago Jeff and I didn't know if we would ever have children. Now we have three. Three. It still seems incredible to me.

Losing Leah hurt. It still hurts. It will probably always be that way. But I can no longer think about that anguish without expanding my view. That pain is a sliver of our story, a small piece of the "lovely thing" that God is doing in our lives. When I think of the pain now, I can only see it with the parts that come attached to it - Tommy, Nicolas, Kenny and all of the many decisions we made differently, and experiences we have had because of the course our lives took after Leah's death. I'm not happy that I lost my daughter. I wish I could have my life now with her and with everything else unchanged. But since we did lose her, and we can't alter that, I am so intensely grateful that we have been so abundantly blessed, that God has created beauty from our ashes...in His time.

Some Cute Boys

My friend Heather takes the best pictures - and she took some sweet ones of my mom and the boys. I was quite anxious to get some nice shots of them, and so thankful that she was able to do it. Amazingly, these photos were taken in a very short amount of time - crammed between an afternoon at the beach and dinner. It shocked me that the boys held still for as long as they did!

I'm going to post a few of my favorites, but Heather arranged the photos really beautifully at her blog, so please click HERE to see them.

Update on Mary: Chemo!!!

Wow. What a difference a week makes. Last week mom's white count was 1000, the lowest it has been since she began chemo. This week? 2700, the highest it has been since beginning chemo! Even though mom felt terrible all week, her body was apparently healing, and thus she was able to have her chemo full strength this week. Thank you so much for your prayers- we can't think of anything else to attribute this major turn around to.

Mom woke up this morning feeling pretty good, so hopefully this week will be better than the last one. Again, thank you so much for your prayers for her white counts, her nausea, and her overall health. Clearly they are making a difference!